


Whatever Came of Joshua Palmer?

by ravyn_nevermore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, it nearly killed me to include Christian stuff, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravyn_nevermore/pseuds/ravyn_nevermore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A headcanon-based backstory about Gabriel's vessel, whom I have named Joshua Palmer.<br/>Inspired by Richard Speight Jr's ideas that the vessel was a shy, left-handed, pasty chef stolen by Loki until Gabriel came around.<br/>One-shot<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever Came of Joshua Palmer?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LRBare71](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LRBare71/gifts), [Pattypixie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [Jillean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jillean/gifts).



     I don't have a lot of time. Gabriel left. He didn't say where he was going. Back to Heaven, maybe? Anyway... I thought I'd take the opportunity to write down what happened. Because I know he'll be back. He rarely leaves and when he does, it's not for long. And if someone finds this, maybe... they can tell my wife.

     I should probably start by telling you that my name is Joshua Palmer. Before any of this happened... before the apocalypse, before 'Dr Sexy', before Loki... I was just a simple, God-fearing pastry chef. I worked hard, I loved my wife, I loved my life.

     Oh. I was chosen to be Gabriel's vessel. You thought I was dead in here, didn't you? No, I'm still alive. I thank God for that. I suppose I should thank Gabriel, too. He's not such a bad guy... or angel. Not really. It's just... very unpleasant. Have you ever tried to share your body with a Norse god? Or an archangel? Have you ever had your physical form contorted and shifted into something else? Unlikely. It's painful and exhausting. Luckily, Gabriel is usually kind enough that he puts my consciousness to rest before things get rough. But when I wake up, I'm sharing his mind and I can see everything. I see his memories. The mind of an archangel is vast and terrifying.

     Like I said: before any of the mess, I was just like everyone else. I was happily married and Lillian was pregnant with twins. Twins! God, they must be in the second grade by now. And I don't even get to see them. I was gonna be a dad to a son and a daughter right off the bat. And Lillian... she glowed with the pregnancy. She was so beautiful. Six years of marriage and I was still in love with her. I still am, I suppose, but it's hard to keep track of my emotions when I've been crammed into the back of my own mind all this time.

     Married with children on the way... And every day, after work, I'd bring home a cranberry scone for Lillian, just to see her smile and kiss the crumbs off the corners of her lips. I lived a very simple, happy life. I had a routine: wake up, take a shower, clean my glasses, get dressed, go to work at the bakery, come home, eat dinner, wash the dishes, spend time with Lillian, say my prayers, and go to bed. The only change that was ever made was that I did not work on Sundays. Sundays belonged to God and so Lillian and I went to church and bible study. But, that changed without me even asking for it.

     It was a cloudy Tuesday morning, but I wasn't bothered; we needed the rain that was promising to fall. I spent my morning as I spent every morning, but the change came as I was walking from my car to the bakery door, whistling my favourite hymn- 'Our God is an Awesome God'- and twirling my keys in my left hand. I'm not always fidgety, but it keeps my mind occupied. I've been described as shy, and though I'm friendly, I'm not much for small talk. I prefer to whistle or hum my way into work and stay in the back. I had employees to work the counter and talk to the customers.

     As soon as I unlocked the back door, I froze solid. There was something eating sugar by the spoonful from my bulk container. I'd say it was someone- because now I know- but people don't usually glow. I was terrified. I'm not an arms-bearing man, and I couldn't even think to dig my phone from my pocket and call for help. It didn't notice me at first- which might have been lucky, because in that moment, I swear my heart was pounding so hard, the entire block could hear.

     When it finally turned around, I saw that it was a lanky young man with a wide, mischievous grin and horns protruding from his forehead! Now, of course, my Christian mind instantly registered this thing as a demon. I even called out for God to smite the creature before me, but nothing happened. The luminescent young man laughed- such wicked laughter!- and approached me, backing me straight into the door. "Here's the thing, mortal," he said to me. "I am a god. Yours cannot save you from me. I need a vessel, and I think yours will do nicely. Kneel!"

     I didn't even have time to think as this.. god, he called himself, forced me onto my knees. Suddenly, I saw nothing but a swirling mist. Paralyzed with fear, I watched as this mist condensed in front of my face. That was when I blacked out.

     When I was conscious again, I wasn't in control of my body, and I wasn't in control of the entirety of my mind. It was like looking at the world through somebody else's eyes. My glasses were cracked on the floor and I was being escorted out the door, my bakery abandoned for the day.  
I lost track of time, but it didn't take me long to find out that the thing possessing my body was called Loki and was, apparently, the Norse god of trickery and mischief. He abandoned my whole life and took my dog. Did I mention that I had a dog? Yes, that bastard stole my Jack Russell terrier. I don't know how Scooter never realised it wasn't me, but he didn't.

     I watched as Loki served people their "just desserts". That's what he called it. I watched as he summoned bikini models from thin air and used my body to pleasure them! I watched as he stuffed cupcakes into my mouth and suffered no repercussions. And I watched as he tormented those poor Winchester boys.  
I never believed in anything but God, angels, the devil, and demons until those boys showed up. They seemed to know anything about everything. It's like they made a living off of whatever it was they did.

     Some days, I truly have to thank God for Gabriel. While Loki was conjuring up all kinds of trouble in that university auditorium, I heard a voice that wasn't mine and wasn't Loki's. That trickster was too wrapped up in his sick sense of humour to hear it. The voice was melodic and comforting and I knew it was an angel.  
"Joshua," he said- almost like a whisper of a song, "I can get you out of this. I can save you. Trust me. Give yourself to me and you won't belong to Loki anymore." And as soon as I gave myself to him, I............................................  
     

 

Wow. Okay. This guy makes me sound like a Hallmark card. Everything he's told you so far is true. I should know, I watched him for a while. I knew it wouldn't be long before I needed a vessel. And this yahoo was my true vessel. I know, right? Why is some little pastry chef the true vessel to an all-powerful archangel? Some of us like to be inconspicuous. What, did you expect me to cram myself into Yao Ming just because he's seven foot instead of five-eight? Nah-uh. I needed someone who believed in my power and, you know, it's kind of nice to have a vessel that looks a little like you. There's no way any mortal could ever know what I look like because it would burn their eyeballs right out of their skulls, but let's put it in human terms.

Angels are humanoid in appearance. My dad apparently had a thing for this kind of design. Whatever. If you saw me as a human, I'd have dark blonde hair. A lot like this Josh guy. But longer. Angels... well, we don't really get haircuts. And as for eye colour, I guess they'd be kind of hazel, but... angel Grace has a way of altering its vessels eyes colour. Castiel, my brother, has blue eyes just like his vessel Jimmy. But they're like an intense blue when you combine the two. So, I've had people say that this vessel has gold eyes. Kinda like whiskey. Hey, that works for me. Matches my wings and you know us angels are totally all about coordinating wing and eye colour. Ha!

Wings. Yeah. I've got huge wings. And yes, they're gold. Now, factor in that I had to cram all of me into a tiny little vessel along side a Norse god. That's like taking a soup can that got a washcloth rolled up in it and trying to shove a beach towel in with it. Make sense? Good. So yeah, that wasn't easy. Luckily, I'm just nice enough to put Josh to sleep just before Dean fucking Winchester staked us in the damn heart.

Yes, "us". There were three of us crammed into one body and the body belonged to two of us. Sue me for my pronoun use. I'll see you in court. Anyway, after some roughing up, I expelled Loki from the vessel. I left Josh unconscious and dragged Loki away, locking him in a cage far, far away. And I have the only key. Small victory. No need to thank me.

So... it was a nice cover. I knew everything about Loki and everything about Josh. It was perfect. I couldn't take Josh back to his life though. It was too late for that and work had to be done. Even if Loki hadn't stolen the vessel, I'd have needed him anyway. But hey, telling this mook I could save him got his trust faster than I would have on a normal day. Castiel took the show-off's approach. Good job, Cas, making Jimmy stick his arm in a pot of boiling water. That'll show him! The only thing that came out of that was that Amelia thought the guy was nuts!

Anyway... I carted Josh around with me and put him to sleep when he didn't need to see certain things. He wasn't bad company. He put too mush faith in my long-absent father. He was weird, full of annoying questions, and too innocent, but... I've had worse.

Free will was an awesome thing to be able to finally explore in its entirety. I kept angel radio to a dull roar and did whatever the hell I wanted. Yes, I got into porn, but Josh doesn't need to know that. I just know that for the first time in my long, stupid life, I was able to feel things and be free. I'm not gonna weird anyone out about what it feels like when an angel has their first orgasm, but it is AWESOME. Well, then there's always a mess to clean up and memories to erase, but it's so worth it.

I wasn't able to live the high life long though. I had to go back under cover to get the attention of the Winchesters. The only thing Loki and I had in common was our affinity for pranks. I was endlessly getting into prank wars with Lucifer and Michael. Keeping up the Trickster facade was easy. I didn't give a damn about the opinions of the Winchesters; I just wanted the yelling and the fighting to end already!

I did everything I could, but Sam and Dean were smarter than I gave them credit for. Of course, Cassy probably ran his mouth a little. Not helpful. They worked out that I'm an angel pretty quickly. So, I told them the truth. What else was I supposed to do at that point? And Sam... what the hell was his problem anyway? Moose with stupid flowing hair and stupid hazel eyes. Stupid.

That's beside the point. The point is, yeah, Joshua Palmer is still alive. He's just a little incapacitated right now and will be until further notice. He's always been safe, though. I think he even tried to enjoy himself after I faked my death and went to Rio. And Madrid. And Sicily. So I partied for a while after I faked my death? So what? You would, too, if you thought it was time for the Apocalypse. Then when the Apocalypse didn't happen... I ran. I didn't know what would happen, so I ran away to Heaven. I know it sounds dumb, but that's the last place anyone- angel, demon, or otherwise- would have looked for my sorry ass. But, time is running out. Because those stupid Winchesters have gotten themselves into trouble again. They unleashed the Darkness and I know they're gonna need me. Problem is, they're gonna need my dad, too, and we have no idea where he is. Worst of all, we're gonna need Luci's help. Explaining why I'm still alive to him won't be pretty. Take my advise: Don't ever out-trick a trickster.


End file.
